


My R - ft. OLIVER, flower, Utatane Piko and Fukase

by HoodieGirlSP



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Bullying, Character Death, I'm so sorry for making them all suffer like this, Oliver needs a hug, Rejection, Self-Harm, Suicide, The whole meme squad needs one, Vocaloid Meme Gang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoodieGirlSP/pseuds/HoodieGirlSP
Summary: Just as I was about to take my shoes // Off of the rooftop there I seeA girl with braided hair there before me // Despite myself I go and scream“Hey. Don’t do it please,”... Poor Oliver.~~~~~A novelisation of a song called My R, covered by Vocaloids OLIVER, flower, Utatane Piko and Fukase.You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDBw7VaqsnoIf you know this song, you know how it ends. I'm so sorry. ;-;~~~~~
Kudos: 15





	My R - ft. OLIVER, flower, Utatane Piko and Fukase

**_Just as I was about to take my shoes // Off of the rooftop there I see_ **

**_A girl with braided hair there before me // Despite myself I go and scream_ **

“Hey. Don’t do it please,”

Oliver couldn’t believe what he just said; was he not a complete hypocrite for saying such a thing? After he had climbed up to the roof for what the girl was about to do as well? The young choir boy didn’t have any time to properly amend his mistake, however, as the white-haired figure in front of him spun around, her short braids prancing in the wind. He could recognise those mahogany eyes and that small bundle of black hair anywhere.

“Hey, Oliver,” She muttered softly, almost guiltily, with a sad smile on her face. The blonde didn’t need to have both of his eyes to spot that she was upset at him somehow. Truth be told, he  _ did _ barge in on her opportunity… And yet her tone sounded so kind. “What are you doing up here?”

“Flower,” He spoke, taking slow and wary steps towards the girl standing on the opposite side of the railing. “Well… I could ask you the same thing; what are  _ you _ doing up here?”

Instead of sounding like a cornered cat, Flower chuckled pathetically. “You’ve already heard it before, didn’t you? I told you… told everyone of what happened…”

His heart clenched at the sorrowful memory of Flower bawling her eyes out behind the school building, her usual calm and mature demeanor seemingly lost to her tears. Oliver had found her first, and though he was perfectly fine with keeping it a secret, she insisted on letting the others know. When they heard about it, all of their reactions were to help her move on, but she refused. She always refused help, never asking it from anyone else, even though she needed it so badly…

“I really thought that he’d be the one, you know?” She laughed again in that same helpless tone. “I was so sure of it… He was so sweet and kind and yet…” Her downcast eyes were brimming with bottled up pain. “When he told me he was done, I… It just hurts so much that I want it to stop-”

_ Why are you here before me? I need to get you off this roof. _

Oliver didn’t know what came over him, but he couldn’t stop the angst within him from spilling. “Are you really going to kill yourself over that? And only for that reason?”

“Olie-”

“That doesn’t sound like a good reason at all,” He claimed simply, eyebrows furrowing at the taller girl. “Flower, surely there must be someone else out there for you, right? Remember what I told you back then?”

She had a conflicted expression on her face, almost as if she struggled to remember. The choir boy took no notice of this as he continued. “No one gets what they want on their first try; you just gotta keep going. Besides, you’re lucky that he didn’t go for someone else after he rejected you. Surely, that would’ve been even more painful, right?”

_ It was harsh, but his heart was already numb. _

**_"I'm feeling better, thank you for listening!"_ ** **_// The girl with braided hair then disappeared_ **

~~~~~

**_‘Alright, today's the day’ or so I thought // Just as I took both of my shoes off_ **

**_There was but a boy short as can be // Despite myself, I go and scream_ **

“Hey. Don’t do it please,”

Oliver was slightly surprised at the similar scene, but he took it with strife and without malice. Before him this time was a young boy with bob-cut silver hair, accompanied by a little ahoge in the shape of a ‘P’. As he turned to the blonde boy, Oliver could see his heterochromatic eyes, green on his left and cyan on his right. He was standing exactly where Flower was yesterday; his body of short stature on the other side of the railing, his small hands gripping tightly to those iron bars, the expression on his face moody and blank… It would have been considered lifeless if he had not formed a small smile with his mouth when he saw Oliver.

“Oliver,” He said softly, the melodious tone in his voice still as high-pitched as ever. He  _ was _ one of the few boys who had a rather falsetto pitched voice that didn’t disappear after puberty, after all. “What are you doing up here?”

“I would ask you the same thing, Piko,” The young blonde replied, the words coming out of his mouth automatically like second nature. As according to what happened yesterday, he started walking towards Piko warily and carefully just like yesterday.

Meanwhile, the older boy chuckled lightly, his mismatched eyes staring at the white tiles of the rooftop. “You’ve already heard it before, didn’t you? You saw me… You saw what they said to me…”

Oliver bit his bottom lip at the agonising memory of watching Piko being picked on by those brats for weeks without end. From the dreadful words written on his desk with permanent ink and the rotten food found in his shoe locker, to the more elaborate yet cruel white flowers placed on his stained desk and the constant jeers and sneers and  _ sadistic joy _ of spilling drinks all over him. Oliver had found him in the bathroom one day trying so hard to wipe off the stains on his uniform… as well as the flood of tears that were fighting to flow out of his eyes.

“Everyone just hates me,” Piko continued with another joyless laugh. “They either ignore me, make fun or me or steal from me. I’ve never…” He hesitated, almost afraid to say his next words. “I’ve never belonged here-”

_ Why are you here before me? I need to get you off this roof. _

The same sensation from the day before returned and Oliver could barely process what he was blurting out. “What about us? What about Flower and I? Are we not your friends anymore?”

“Olie-”

“This isn’t right and you know it,” He stated firmly, his one gold eye staring at Piko. “I thought I told you this before? That we always have your back no matter what other people tell you?”

The silver-haired boy grimaced as Oliver continued. “We’re already on our last year here. You’ll be out of here soon. Why are you gonna give up so quickly when your salvation is so close? Besides, you always go back home at the end of each day, and didn’t you tell us how much your family loves you? What will they do when you’re gone?”

_ It was harsh, but his heart was already numb. _

**_"I'm hungry" said the boy as he shed a tear_ ** **_// The boy short as can be then disappeared_ **

~~~~~

This couldn’t be real.

These incidents can’t be real.

To have someone standing there at the railing every time he climbed those stairs?

Impossible. It was impossible.

Was there really someone always being there to halt him from his attempts to do what he’s been preventing?

Was his timing just that bad?

It always changed. It was never the same person.

He always told them to not do it.

He always told them to not jump.

But never once was there someone to do the same for him.

~~~~~

**_For the very first time, there I see // Someone with the same pains as me_ **

**_Having done this time and time again // He wore a bright red cardigan_ **

Oliver had done this so often that he didn’t even bother saying his first line. “Fukase, what are you doing here?” He asked quickly, tired of the pleasantries that he had been repeating over and over again.

In front of him today was a boy with bright red hair and equally bright red eyes, though his left eye was obscured by an extra tuft of his fringe. A red cross was taped across his nose, highlighting the sheer paleness of his skin. His hands (and actually, his neck too) were also a pure white, covered completely with bandages. Unlike Flower and Piko from before, this boy refused to smile warmly at Oliver, instead staring at him blankly with his one red eye.

“Oliver…” He muttered before turning away from him, looking down at his bandaged hands. The blonde waited impatiently as Fukase continued. “I just… I just want to stop it, you know?”

“Stop what?” There was no point in pressing on apart from the need to get Fukase off the roof.

“You know…” Fukase shook his head dismissively.

**“Hating myself,”**

_ Wait… _

“I just wanna stop the scars that keep appearing, you know,” He mumbled to himself, though Oliver could hear him fine. “It hurts everytime I do this, but… I’m already such an ugly monster. What’s a few more marks on my skin gonna do about that?”

_ Wait… _

He shrugged emotionlessly as he gazed at the horizon. “That’s why I came up here instead; to stop prolonging the pain,” He finished, closing his eyes without another word. Behind him, Oliver was stunned, the words that Fukase had just said now reverberating in his head.

‘I just want it to stop hurting’

‘I just want it to stop happening’

‘I just want it to stop hating’

_ Why in the world did they sound so familiar? _ He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong, but his damn second nature was quick to react. Muscle memory had taken over his body as he reached out for the boy by the ledge, his heart screaming for him to stop, just stop, JUSTSTOP-

**_“Hey, don't do it, please.”_ **

~~ … A teardrop? ~~

~~ No.. there’s more…  ~~

~~ Are they… from my eyes? ~~

He couldn’t stop them from flowing. Just like how Flower cried when she was horribly rejected, and just like how Piko cried in the bathroom when he was being bullied, the dam in Oliver’s one gold eye was broken and he just couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. His body slumped to the floor like a blob as he wept silently. He couldn’t stop this boy. He couldn’t stop him because…

**_That boy is me._ **

Meanwhile, the figure before him (Oliver couldn’t be bothered to identify if it was really Fukase or it was… someone else) sighed softly. It was a sigh void of malice or jeers and yet the young boy couldn’t tell if this figure was wearing a pitiful expression for him.

**_"I guess today is just not my day"_ ** **_// He looked away from me and then he disappeared_ **

~~~~~

… It was never Flower.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Olie, I really am. Look, maybe I can’t make you feel better over the heartbreak, but you know that you always have my support, right?”

… It was never Piko. 

“Forget about what those jerks call you, Olie. They’re just being assholes. You’re a great person, and we love you just the way you are!”

… It was never Fukase.

“Olie, please  _ please _ tell us the next time you do something like… this. I know life can be like hell sometimes and you might feel like you can’t go on… but please  _ don’t _ give up like this…”

  
  


It was me. It was never them. It was none of them.

  
  


It was always me…

  
  


There was nothing left for him here. He had suffered enough of this worthless world. He didn’t want to spend another second wallowing in the excruciating agony that he had been enduring and suppressing from his memory for so long.

There was no one at the roof. The clock rang for dismissal as the hollers and shouts of students pouring out of the school gates. No one was gonna come to the roof at this hour. There was no reason for them to do so.

No one would interfere with what he was about to do.

**_Taking off my_ ** ~~**_bright red_ ** ~~ **_yellow cardigan // Watching my braids all come undone_ **

**_This petite boy short as can be // Is gonna jump now and be free_ **

~~~~~

“Hey, anyone know where Olie went?”

“Oh, I think he said that he wanted to go to the toilet before walking home,” Piko replied crisply, taking another bite out of his afternoon sandwich. His reply didn’t seem to satisfy its recipient, however, as Fukase frowned, the cross mark by his mouth widening.

“He’s taking quite a while though, isn’t he?” Flower pondered, staring past the school gate and back at the school doors, which was empty at this hour as expected (except a student or two still walking out). “We’ve been standing out here for I think ten minutes by now,” She checked the time on her watch just to be sure.

The silver-haired teen tilted his head. “I suppose that’s true… Maybe I should go and check-”

“Geez, you guys waiting for that pitiful cry baby again?”

The shrill voice from the nearby group switched the three teens into their defensive modes instantly. Just listening to one word from their leader was enough to make their blood boil.

Piko’s grip on his sandwich tightened till you could see whites around his knuckles. “Hey! Cut it out already! He’s not a cry baby!”

“He’s right!” Flower added, narrowing her eyes at the obnoxious brats. “Just give Oliver a damn break. What the hell’s your problem with him?!”

They guffawed at her stern voice, clearly asking for trouble. “HAH! Is it not obvious?” They sneered maliciously. “Everyone at school knows that he is an ugly-ass idiot who can’t get the girl, he’s a squirt who can’t fit in and the most obvious of all, he’s a-”

**“DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT, YOU PIECE OF CRAP.”**

The bullies soon found themselves face-to-face with a blood-red left eye. More specifically,  _ Fukase _ ’s blood-red left eye. The cruel joy that they were feeling earlier had easily vanished as they were captured by his gaze. Judging by the rare low tone of his voice and the twitching of his right eye, he looked downright  _ furious _ .

“You better run before I tear your heads off your necks and smash them with my bare hands,” He bellowed in a dangerously soft voice, the rage in his voice like the calm before the storm.

Naturally, the group took it as a sign to get the hell out of there.

“ … That was a little uncalled for, Fuka,” Flower nudged the red-haired teen with her left elbow, seemingly unfazed by his ‘rage mode’.

“No, it wasn’t!” He protested while brushing his long bangs back over his left eye. “They’re a bunch of assholes to say that about Oliver. I’m sure you’d do the same if you could, right Flower?”

The two boys watched in anticipation as Flower crossed her arms and closed her eyes for a moment. It did not last long, however, as she eventually did let out a sigh of admittance. “ … Touche. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I probably would’ve told them off if you hadn’t switched to ‘rage mode’ so quickly,”

Next to her, the red-haired trickster was grinning to himself, strangely proud of winning such a trivial discussion. Meanwhile, Piko placed a hand on his forehead and chuckled lightly. “Geez, Olie sure is lucky to have such protective older ‘siblings’, huh?”

“You’re a part of this family too, Piko!” Fukase hurriedly pointed out. “Don’t talk like you’re some outsider!”

Flower nodded. “He’s right, you know,”

“Eh, can you blame me?” Piko shrugged as he held his hands out to emphasize. “I’m kind of a senior compared to you guys, what with me staying back a year and all,”

“We’re all kind of the odd ones out in our class, Piko,”

The three of them shared a chuckle amongst themselves, well aware of how they stood out in their class and yet still happy all the same. They always had each other, after all.

After a momentary silence between them, Flower checked her watch again, softly gasping at how much time had passed. “We should probably check on where Oliver is now,”

At her words, Piko quickly packed away his half-eaten sandwich and reached into his pockets. “Yeah, okay. I’ll call his cell,”

“Then in that case, I’ll head over to the bathroom to check on him,” Fukase declared as he turned back to the school entrance, walking through the school gates once more. He could hear Flower calling to him. “Okay! We’ll be here waiting for you when you two get back!”

In the meantime, Piko quickly dialled Oliver’s number into his flip phone and held it to his ear, pacing about as he waited patiently for someone to pick up.

_ “The number you’ve dialled is unavailable.” _

“Huh, that’s weird,” The silver-haired boy murmured as he redialled the number again.

_ “The number you’ve dialled is unavailable.” _

Next to him, Flower frowned. “No answer?”

Piko sighed in defeat. “No, nothing,” He replied, though he still gave it another shot. Third time’s the charm, right?

_ “The number you’ve dialled is unavailable.” _

“Yep, no answer,” He finally surrendered as he pocketed his phone, a small bundle of anxiety bubbling within him. Oliver wasn’t the type to leave his phone on silent. “Let’s just hope that Fuka has more luck than we do-What?”

To his surprise, the aforementioned trickster was running towards the both of them, his hands reaching out to grab theirs before either of them could protest.

“Fukase?!” Flower tried to loosen his iron-grip on her hand but her efforts were to no avail. “What’s wrong?”

His right eye was full of panic. “Shut up and follow me already!” He yelled while yanking them back to the school.

**“I found Oliver,”**

Those words cued Piko to relax. “You did? Well where is he?”

At that, Fukase gazed at the ground. He was clearly hesitating to reply back to him. There was an audible ache in his words. “Th-the roof…”

At that, both Flower and Piko simultaneously looked skyward, their hearts both sinking at the sight that they saw. A small figure standing at the roof of their school. A white captain’s hat. Navy blue uniform. One visible eye. Golden curls that seemed to shimmer in the light of the sunset.

**_Oliver._ **

“What the HELL?! Why’s he-Oliver-!!”

“Olie!! OLIVER DON’T MOVE!!”

“Dammit, we gotta get to him, COME ON!”

Time was a cruel master; it would not offer them a single moment of reprieve. It forced them to watch as the small, limp body tilted ever so slightly across the roof. It almost appeared dead as gravity took over.

**_“OLIVERRRRRR!!!!”_ **

~~~~~


End file.
